I say right in the title “amateur,” though I may try to “go pro” if that’s possible without actually making cider myself. I’m going to give some of the terminology my best shot, and do some research and add links later. I may just be totally talking out of my a**, so feel free to contact me to set me straight. Be kind, this is my off-the-cuff first draft. Here goes.

(Here’s the Wikipedia Link if you want some possibly real knowledge. Haven’t read it all, and haven’t fact checked it, but it probably knows a lot more than me and you’re probably better off reading that instead.)

Hard Cider
An alcoholic beverage made from fermented apples (or pears, sometimes called “perrys”).

Dry
I’ll look for a way to describe this quality, but you kind of have to just taste a dry cider to know what I’m talking about. You feel it on your teeth and in your mouth after you drink it.

Sweet
That should be self explanatory. I’m not a huge fan of sweet ciders, so you’ll see that reflected here. There should definitely be a sweet/dry balance to any good cider (as far as I’m concerned).

Regional Ciders

Basque
Basque is an area in Europe that spans the border of Spain and France. Probably best to just look at the Wikipedia article if you don’t already know what it is. Fascinating history and even recent political violence about self-determination. They’ve got their own language and everything. Check it out.

Anyway, they have their own type of cider that is incredibly distinct. It can be bracingly sour and funky, and I can’t get enough of the stuff. Unfiltered goodness, but could easily turn off someone new to cider. Then again, I keep saying that and keep having people who say they haven’t had much cider and never really liked it dive in and knock one of these suckers back. No matter what, it’s a taste adventure and you should have a glass if you can. I can taste some olive in it, and they’re slightly viscous, I think from being unfiltered.

English
As far as I know (and that’s not far) this is the closest to what I think most people think of when they have cider. A crisp, slightly dry, slightly sweet beverage that is slightly fruity without being distinctly “apple-y”.

Irish

Scottish

French
Best quote from my birthday at Bushwhacker: “The French like smelly stuff.” It is so true. The French ciders stink in that blue-cheesy kind of way that your nose says “you really shouldn’t be eating/drinking this stuff” but your mouth says “mmmmm, shut up nose!” They’ve got this stuff down to a complex, yummy science. They also have Pommeau, which is a mix of apple brandy and apple juice. You just can’t go wrong with the French and fancy, smelly, deliciousness.

This is a great article about how the French like to abuse apples.